Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Rated by watchability

The games I am looking forward to the most in the first few weeks of the season.

April 6 -- Opening Day. Easy. Even if it will be in the half-filled barn in South Florida. Will I see the first Adam Dunn TTO game? High hopes for a couple of E-5s for Florida and for no 'Nick Johnson went into the clubhouse and hasn't returned. We'll update you later"

April 7 -- @ Florida. Would have been a blah game except for the Scott Olsen sticking it to his old team factor. Hopefully he can find those extra few MPH's on the fastball with it.

April 8 -- @Florida I think I'm going to treat every Daniel Cabrera start like watching Vinny Johnson back in the Bad Boys days. If the first shot hit the back of the rim and went in, the Microwave was ON and you might see something great. If it missed, cold pizza today. We'll know in the first inning if we're gonna see Cy Cabrera or Daniel Dalkowski.

April 10 -- @ Atlanta ehhh. Martis vs. Atlanta's #4 starter. Only if it's dog day at the park and Mike Vick stops by.

April 12 -- @ Atlanta Just to see if Derek Lowe will throw a no-hitter. His pounding sinker plus get away day a bad combo.

April 13 vs. Phils -- OD at Nats Park. 5 stars in any event.

April 20 vs. Atlanta The phenom's debut. At least I assume JZimm will make his ML debut that day. Gonna clear the schedule and make sure I'm watching in HD. Don't let me down!

April 24th @ Mets We'll find out if (Broke Dick) Citi Field is a hitters park or pitchers park.

April 30 vs. St. Louis -- If you can't appreciate Albert Pujols, then I don't want to know you.

Fun Nats' Fact 'o the Day
(not a joke!)

Over his five seasons with the EXPOS, pinch hitter extraordinare Jose Morales collected a remarkable 57 pinch hits.

Let's examine the lameness shall we. First, Nat's Fact 'o the Day concerns someone who was technically NEVER a Nat. Second, pinch hits. That's the best you could do. The storied history of the Expos and the best you could do was a guy who averaged 11.4 hits a year? Third: why remarkable? Is that particular adjective really necessary at that point? You aren't fooling anyone you know. We've already plodded through the vast majority of your lameness, remarkable isn't going to redeem the trek.

Would the football equal of this fact be: Scott Player downed a stunning 62 punts inside the 20 during his 5 years as Arizona's punter. I know you are stunned (Although I just made this up and have no idea if it is either 1)true or 2)remarkable.

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